Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Mechanic by Alexa Riley

I'm slowly trying to clean out my Kindle. Over the last year, I pretty much downloaded anything I recognized from the Kindle Store that was cheap or free, and now that poor little electronic device is bursting with romance and erotica. This is a task I have put off for years, but I've resorted to bribery: I'm not allowed to buy the next House of Rohan book until I've read at least ten books off my Kindle before the end of this week. I've knocked out two other books today already!

MECHANIC by Alexa Riley is the third Kindle book I've read today (minus the bonus short story at the end, for reasons to follow). I have friends who swear by Alexa Riley and eagerly await her (or I guess I should say 'their', since this is a two-author collab pen name) next works.

I didn't realize that when I downloaded this book, it would be a "breeding" erotica - and yes, it's exactly what it sounds like.

Penelope is the rich mayor's daughter and has to come into the auto shop to get her car fixed. Paine, the mechanic, is on duty and feels an instant attraction to/possession of her, and decides that she must be his at all costs. This is a formula typical of most alpha romances, but breeding erotica apparently necessitates that the 'hero' must act like a total psychotic creep.

Nobody who looks like her, who's dressed like that, is shy. She's a rich duchess coming into a place like this and asking for it (9%)

"I'm not sure if I could pull away if she told me she's underage. It might just be worth the prison time." (10%) 

She's the type of woman who needs a firm hand (28%).

But to know I'm the first to touch her makes me want to shoot off a cannon and plant a stake beside her that reads 'This land is claimed.' (30%)

"I stopped wearing underwear years ago, getting tired of having them in the way. He always wants me, any time of day, and I just gave up trying to block him" (68%)

Further cases in point: after fixing her car, he takes her to his office, shuts the door, and closes the blinds. He then lies to her, telling her that they don't take credit cards, and tells her that he's keeping her car overnight unless she can figure out "some other way to pay him", replete with lascivious glances at her bare thighs, you know, just in case that subtlety escaped her.

After that, he decides to stalk her and then sabotages her car so that she'll have to get it towed to the nearest auto-shop - his - for repairs, so she'll be forced to see him again.

I elected not to read the "bonus" story, because it involves Penelope's brother, Law, a cop, courting (i.e. sexually harassing) one of the female mechanics, Joey. Same story, different folks.

Back to MECHANIC, the sex in this book was also crude and gross. I suppose I can see why others might find it fascinating, or even hot, but I didn't like it. Especially towards the end, where all encounters start ending in lines like "I'm going to breed you so hard." After they have sex for the first time, he actually asks her how many children she wants. I'm sorry, that's when you start running.

I respect my friends' tastes and I'm glad that they are a fan of these author(s), who, from interviews, do seem like quite nice people, but I could not jump aboard this train. I couldn't even catch it. Instead, I was left in the filthy, filthy dust as it gleefully sped away while screaming obscenities about breeding.

1 out of 5 stars.

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