My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham

MY DEAREST DARKEST is one of those books that I knew was going to be a five-star read from the get-go. It was basically a checklist of everything my wussy little self loves in the horror genre I can only barely bring myself to read: strong and complicated girls who are sometimes unlikable, excellent anxiety rep, coming of age stories, dark academia vibes, eldritch horrors, cults, sacrifices, liminal spaces, and creepy abandoned buildings.

Finch is delighted when she gets to audition at the prestigious Ulalume Academy, a private school for the arts. As a piano prodigy, it's her dream school. But a terrible accident on the way back from her audition steals the lives of both her parents and has her clawing her way out from a black river, half-dead, under the sinister gaze of a stag with eight eyes.

Meanwhile, Selena is enjoying her senior year as one of the pretty and popular elite, reveling in being an out-of-control bitch. But she's still stinging from breaking things off with her ex-flame, Kyra, and chafing inside from being unable to live as her authentic self.

Their stories connect because of something sinister dwelling in the tunnels beneath their school. Ulalume is built on top of something dark and ancient. Something that might be able to give them their deepest, dearest, darkest desires-- but only at a terrible cost. At first, the price seems small-- even nonexistent-- but all the girls of Ulalume very quickly realize that nothing in this world or the next is free.

So obviously I loved this book. I loved it so much I stayed up into the middle of the night reading it because I could not bear to put it down. I had to make sure that everyone was okay (that's the downside to reading horror instead of romance; there's no guarantee of an HEA). The vibes were immaculate. The romance was sweet. The dialogue was witty. The horror was fucking terrifying (will I have nightmares tonight? Probably). Did I immediately buy this author's other sapphic horror novel, THIS DELICIOUS DEATH? Most definitely. Will I recommend this book to you? Absolutely.

Kayla Cottingham, you evil genius.

5 out of 5 stars