Thursday, September 19, 2024

Breathless by Cat Wynn

 

BREATHLESS was an impulse read since it was on Kindle Unlimited and I liked it quite a bit. There's a lot of humor in this book, and the reclusive heroine-- a burned out ex-fashion model who is incredibly neurotic-- was crazy in a very sympathetic and relatable way, and I liked her zany obsession with aquariums, which is how she meets the hero in the first place: through a forum for people who are obsessed with fish and aquariums. In the forum she meets a guy named Mack, who she has a crush on, but when he sends her a selfie after she pressures him for a pic, she notices a strange reflection in the picture...

I liked the first half a little more than I did the second half, but this was a very fun and amusing ride. Villains were a little cardboard cut-out-y but I got the impression that this was a loving parody of things like The Shape of Water and Splash, with a hefty dash of monster-fucking thrown in to keep things extra spicy.

Very cute.

3 out of 5 stars

Thrum by Meg Smitherman

 

THRUM is a lot of things and it does all of them pretty well. It felt like it could have been an episode of the show Love Death + Robots. Part gothic space opera, part alien romance, part survival story, THRUM is about a woman who wakes up in the middle of her spaceship from stasis and finds out that all of her fellow shipmates are dead and that someone-- or something-- has sabotaged her ship from the outside. When she puts out a distress call, someone answers, but that someone may be even more dangerous than being alone in space.

I don't want to say too much else because wherever you think this is going, it's probably not what you think. I am 99% sure that this was probably inspired by Bluebeard though (and that's not a spoiler, because again, not what you think), and maybe also a little bit of Crimson Peak with its hot and possibly villainous love interest. This is more creepy than scary which is perfect for a wuss like me, so if you want something with chilling vibes and a wild ending, this.

5 out of 5 stars

Sunday, September 15, 2024

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King

 

ON WRITING is one of my favorite writing memoirs/guides and for the moment, it's aged pretty well over the years (except for his adulation for J.K. Rowling and his seeming disdain for romance novels). I love how despite his incredible success, Mr. King seems very humble and approachable and even a little bemused that his books are as popular as they are, and it was fun getting a glimpse into the 1950s childhood that clearly inspired IT, his clear passion for writing at a very young age, and how long and arduous his path to success was (I had no idea that three of his "Bachman" books had actually been written prior to Carrie).

I think King does fall into the trap of making excuses for his favorites but condemning those exact same qualities in the things he doesn't like. His love and fond remembrance for trash films and Z movies, and the entertainment they bring because of their camp, when paired with compelling stories and charismatic and attractive leads gets him so close to understanding why romance novels are so popular-- and yet he can't seem to get over his disdain of them, mocking the adverb-heavy bodice-ripper writing style, and romance phrases like "arrogant cheekbones." Sometimes when you pick up a book, you don't want it to be literary, you want it to be fun.

Anyway, apart from that one niggling issue, I did enjoy ON WRITING a lot. I've had the same copy since I was about fourteen years old and for the longest time, this was my writing bible. It is still treasured and holds pride of place with some of my other favorites, but I no longer believe his word is law.

4 to 4.5 out of 5 stars

Saturday, September 14, 2024

The Last Housewife by Ashley Winstead

 

I wonder what it's like to wake up in the morning and be Ashley Winstead, knowing that you can write the most beautiful, fucked-up shit and have it be so damn good. It must be amazing. Because I powered through THE LAST HOUSEWIFE in under 24 hours, going through a big rollercoaster of emotions until I reached the finish line.

HOLY SHIT.

Shay is a damaged woman who married a rich man and settled into a comfortable life of luxury, but she's haunted by things that happened to her when she was in college. Then one day she hears a podcast episode from her childhood friend, Jamie. He's looking into what happened to her friends and begs for her to reach out to him again.

What results is a sort of investigative drama, told in mixed media format, about a dangerously charismatic man, an evil cult, depraved sex, and a society that truly despises women just for existing. It's emotionally devastating and I can see why people were so ambivalent about it given some of the triggers, but I personally think it was masterfully handled and the ending was so satisfying.

5 stars

Friday, September 13, 2024

The Woman in Me by Britney Spears

 

THE WOMAN IN ME basically sailed up the best-seller charts when it came out and I'm not surprised. Her conservatorship was big news, and so was her eventual release for it. After all the drama about her family and relationships-- some baldly revealed, some hinted at-- a lot of people were curious about what the Queen of Pop's life was really like. And as it turns out... pretty fucking awful.

I don't want to spoil this memoir for anyone who hasn't read it yet (I'm suuuuuuper late to the party), but it's not a particularly happy one. Her relationship with Justin Timberlake was awful (when she had an at-home abortion at his suggestion that left her feeling like she might die, his solution was to LIE ON THE FLOOR and play his guitar instead of taking her to the hospital). Her relationship with K-Fed was awful (surprise! he comes across as a super manipulative user of a person who used her kids against her to get what he wanted). And her family and the way they allegedly abused her conservatorship to give themselves big salaries and use all of her money at their leisure, while sending her to mental institutions when she fought back? WOW.  

I'm glad she seems to be having a happier life now, but man, this was a brutal read. It was nice to hear that Paris Hilton was actually a genuinely good friend to her, and that she found a man who cared about her beyond what she could bring to the table fiscally. But overall, the message in this book seems to be that fame can be a gilded prison where no one can hear you screaming behind the bars.

4 out of 5 stars

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Across State Lines by Lauren Biel

 

This book is one of the most depraved dark romances I've ever read, and I would advise you to read the TWs very carefully. There are some scenes in here that could definitely trigger someone who went in unprepared. That said, it also has a really unique premise and ends up being a really fascinating psychological portrait into two deeply traumatized individuals, while also providing some brilliant dialogue on consent, and I ended up liking it a LOT more than I thought I would!

The two main characters are Aurora, a college dropout working as a truck stop prostitute, and Tobin/Kane/Jax, a trucker with a dark past who has some side deals with some shady people. When he sees Aurora, he wants her... but he's not what he seems. This is basically a Why Choose but all the men are actually the same person, because the leading man has DID (dissociative identity disorder).

Dissociative identity disorder is one of the most interesting and controversial psychological disorders, even amongst professionals. My Forensic Psychology professor didn't believe there was sufficient evidence for it to be real (I remember her arguing with a student about it during one of her lectures), but my Abnormal Psychology professor found it credible, at least following an episode of extreme trauma. It's also been called multiple personality disorder or split personality (and people often confuse it with schizophrenia), but now it's categorized under the dissociative disorder umbrella.

I thought Lauren Biel did a really great job with the research she clearly did for this book. I also like how even though this book had some pretty gnarly scenes of sadistic sex and degradation (he penetrates her with the business end of a knife and has her suck on a public toilet handle, for example), Aurora had agency. It was limited agency and she did what she did because she felt like she didn't have a choice, but it was different enough that she didn't categorize it with the trauma she had from another incident in her life. I thought the choice to make both Aurora and Kane's trauma happen off-page was very sensitive, and I also felt like it made sense why the characters did the things that they did. This relationship is by no means aspirational or desirable, but it worked for them. I'll admit, I wasn't sure how she could possibly write an HEA for these two, but she found a way.

Thursday, September 5, 2024

Mistress of Mellyn by Victoria Holt

 

I think this might have been Victoria Holt's first gothic romance novel, and you can kind of see it. She hasn't nailed down her formula yet, and the meandering storyline comes to a head all at once at the end, most of the closure happening in the epilogue, presented after the fact.

Despite that, MISTRESS OF MELLYN is such a fun, atmospheric read. I have nostalgic memories of checking out Victoria Holt hardcovers from the public library and devouring them, one after the other, along with some of Mary Stewart's books. If you're into the cozy mystery aesthetic and like closed-door historical romance novels, Victoria Holt is going to be your jam. Especially if you're into the spooky or horrorcore atmosphere but can't actually stomach gore.

I loved the Cornish setting and the brooding womanizer hero and dour and grumpy heroine were great. I'm a sucker for a good governess romance and I thought BOTH child characters in this book felt quite realistically bratty and amusing. I actually liked all of the characters in this book, including the bad ones. She absolutely nailed the claustrophobic gothic forced-proximity.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Monday, September 2, 2024

It's Not a Cult by Lauren Danhof

 

If it's about a cult, I will read it. IT'S NOT A CULT roped me right in with the fun cover and tongue-in-cheek title and when I read the blurb, I really liked the heroine's narrative voice despite what some of the other reviews seemed to think about Glinda Glass. I stan a fuck-up heroine, okay? Especially if she's entertaining.

Glinda's mother hasn't been the same since the death of her husband (Glinda's dad). And Glinda's sisters are all kind of aloof and embarrassed of her because of her fuck-up status (one of them won't talk to her at all after almost breaking up her relationship). But now things have gotten worse: she's involved in a "community lifestyle group" that is actually a cult and is engaged to the cult leader, Arlon.

The ratings for this book are pretty low but it definitely falls into a very specific niche. It's too funny to be a serious book, it's too serious to be a funny book, and it kind of is written like a rom-com except I would say it's target audience skews more towards readers of women's fiction looking for their next book club pick.

Overall, I did enjoy this quite a bit although I think it loses some much-needed steam in the second half. Still, it was original, inventive, and fun, and I'm not sorry I read it at all.

3 to 3.5 out of 5 stars

Saturday, August 31, 2024

Gallows Pole by Eris Adderly

 

GALLOWS POLE was a fun, quick read that felt like it was inspired pretty heavily by 80s and 90s bodice-rippers. The heroine, Emmat, is a highwaywoman. Her brother is also a criminal and one day, her parents send her out to prevent his execution, telling her that if she can't come back with him, she shouldn't come back at all. Desperate, with a hangman unwilling to take her bribes, Emmat offers herself in her brother's stead.

There is dub-con, obviously, but this is not a dark romance where the heroine feels like a victim (for those of you who don't like that). It also has a surprising amount of genuinely funny moments. She is spirited and full of fire, and gives back as good as she gets. Vane, the hero, is a morally complex man with a tragic backstory who comes to her in darkness when he isn't wearing his hangman's hood (so I guess you could say there's a Masked Man element to this book, too).

Some of my favorite moments were when the heroine lies about having his period to avoid sleeping with him and he tells her that her hand isn't on its period (lol). The fact that he shame-facedly trotted out to wash at the well as SOON as the heroine told him he smelled was also great. We stan a man who wants to look and smell good for his lady. I also lol'd when he stormed out to find a chaplain to marry them in his weirdly dark depressed-person house. A+

I've never read anything by Eris Adderly before but I will now definitely be reading more Eris Adderly.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Thursday, August 22, 2024

Just Like Home by Sarah Gailey

 

JUST LIKE HOME is one of the weirdest horror novels I've ever read, but I really liked it. Vera is an emotionally stunted young woman who grew up in pretty terrible circumstances: her mother was abusive and distant and her father was loving but also a serial killer. Now her childhood home, Crowder House, is a place of spectacle and speculation. When Vera's mother asks her to return home, an avalanche of old memories is released, tying Vera to her traumatic past and the dark secrets that still lurk in the house's even darker shadows.

I loved the writing style of this book. It was so evocative and visceral and gritty and gross. Body horror is something I have a hard time with usually, but the way Gailey couched it in all this metaphorical, poetic language made it feel almost like fairytale violence. I also liked how this book straddles several genres of horror-- serial killer, haunted house, family secrets, moral corruption, splatterpunk, monsters. Go in expecting fluids and trauma for sure, but prepare yourself for an ending that is probably more touching than you'd suspect.

4 out of 5 stars

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Before We Were Strangers by Brenda Novak

 

This is the third book I've read by Brenda Novak and it was so good. Like, seriously, could this woman please spare some talent for the rest of us? It is very rude of her to hoard it all to herself, please and thank you. That said, if she keeps writing gothics and historical romances and dark small town romantic suspense novels, maybe she can keep at least a little all to herself, because holy shit, this was good.

BEFORE WE WERE STRANGERS is a second chance romance set in a toxic Texas town called Millcreek. Sloane is a famous model who has taken a break ever since her father figure/agent got sick. Plagued by questions of something disturbing she saw as a child, she goes home to find out whether her father really did murder her mother, as she's suspected all along.

Her father is the mayor of Millcreek and doesn't take kindly to the prospect of being implicated in old crimes, especially from the estranged black sheep daughter who ditched her boyfriend when she left, causing him to turn to her ex-best friend. Now he's a cop and a father and an ex-husband, who's more than still half in love with Sloane. Enough that he'll probably help her with an investigation if she asked, which is a big NO as far as her dad is concerned.

This was just so deliciously messy and the suspense was really well done and blended nicely with the romance. Honestly, this was perfectly paced, with some great twists, and as always, I appreciated how realistic and fleshed out all of the side characters were. Paige, Sloane's ex-BFF, did some terrible things but she was never a cartoonish villain. You could see why she did what she did even if you kind of hated her for it. I also literally never read cop romances, so the fact that this won me over to a trope I normally avoid speaks so much in its favor. Like, job well done, Ms. Novak. Seriously.

I'm so glad that I could buddy read this with my friend, Sarah. She joined me on my other two Novak adventures and we're three for three in solidly good books at this point. 

4 to 4.5 out of 5 stars

Monday, August 19, 2024

Companions of the Night by Vivian Vande Velde

 

It's 1995. A teenage girl named Kerry goes to the 24 Hour Laundromat to get her younger brother's stuffed koala bear, only to find herself in the middle of a dangerous situation: a group of adults are holding a teenage boy hostage, claiming that he's a vampire. The plan seems to be to kill him-- right in front of her. After she ends up getting held hostage, too, Kerry takes advantage of a moment's lull to free the boy.

She thinks that he's innocent, like her. But she's wrong.

The result is a road trip of the night, where she's forced to play Scheherazade to a vampire's twisted plans for revenge... or die.

COMPANIONS OF THE NIGHT is one of my favorite vampire books of all time. The writing style reminds me of L.J. Smith's, and even though it takes place over only a couple of days and is a very short book (a novella, really), it feels cinematic. You read it, thinking that it would make a great, campy 80s style movie with a rock soundtrack.

I know it's YA but it's good YA, with complex themes about mortality, morality, and some of the best banter I've ever seen. Everyone who loves vampires should read this.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Sunday, August 18, 2024

Winterscape by Anastasia Cleaver

 

Screaming, crying, throwing up. WINTERSCAPE is a gothic romance written by one of my favorite authors, Natasha Peters (although Anastasia Cleaver is her gothic-specific pseudonym). I don't think I've given a single one of her books less than five stars. Whether she's writing first person or third person, she is a TALENT. Her literary references and attention to detail are just fantastic, and nobody does cruel, flawed, and seductive heroes the way she does. Like, no one.

Helena is the daughter of a piano musician who has spent most of her life poor, traveling from gig to gig with her father. Her father was two steps removed from Chopin, but the two of them are the literal definition of starving artists. When she sees an ad for a piano teacher after her father's untimely death, she answers it. But the family she's working for is strange. They are the Vallelongas family, and the patriarch, Andreas Vallelonga is a manic trickster cast in the mold of Edward Rochester whose once-beautiful wife is now haggard and dying, and he himself was once a piano master who destroyed his hands while drunk by cutting them on broken glass.

Her job is to tutor Andreas's son, Michele, who has a hump and a limp, and has been treated like shit by both his parents. She was actually hired by his uncle Daniele, and has quite the nasty surprise when Andreas intrudes on one of their lessons and says, "If I can't play piano, NO ONE CAN!" But Helena is unfazed and dresses him down, which he finds intriguing and amusing enough to let her stay. What results is a family drama of the finest order, with drunken aunts, crazy religious aunts, player uncles, scheming uncles, and an evil patriarch and matriarch who are used to having everyone dance to their own tune. Everyone is playing along because the family inheritance is on the line, but when someone dies unexpectedly and poison is suspected, suddenly, Helena finds herself in the line of fire...

The writing in this book was amazing. There's a great line where Andreas is described as a Lucifer encased in his own frozen tears. And Helena does feel very Jane Eyre-sque, especially with her no-nonsense demeanor and the fact that she feels a little too good for the manbaby love interest who throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way and parades one of his old flames in front of her to make her jealous. Interestingly, there's a bit of a taboo element as well because

***SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER***

Andreas's wife was Helena's mother, so when they get together at the end, she's kind of getting together with her stepfather. Very demure, very mindful, very cutesy. I just read another gothic romance recently where the girl ended up with her stepbrother, so who knew that the 70s gothics lines liked to get so down and dirty? Dark romance is quaking in its boots.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Lucas by Kevin Brooks

 

I still remember the first time I read LUCAS, and how fucking betrayed I felt by that ending. When I was a teenager, LUCAS was one of my favorite books of all time, because I related to the heroine so much-- she's passive, bitter, and depressed, dreaming of the future while also fearing it, and I think that chaotic and malleable state is going to resonate with a lot of teens. It certainly did for me. And the writing! The descriptions of small town life and complex interpersonal dynamics! Oh my god!

At its heart, this is a dark small town story about the suspicion and animosity that can bubble up like rot as intolerant people close ranks against people they see as different and a threat to their continued way of life. The eponymous Lucas is a drifter who comes to a British island town, and the heroine, Cait, sort of ends up becoming fascinated with him because of how mature and different he is from other boys.

I don't want to say too much else, but this book is HEAVY. It deals with violence, an attempted SA, xenophobia, suicide, alcoholism, and police corruption. Reading it as an adult in 2024, I also noticed some things that flew over my head when I read it back in 2000-whatever. For example, one of the plotlines involves a girl lying about her rape to punish an innocent boy. The heroine is very much on the innocent boy's side, and says all this stuff about how the girl involved is a slut and should be examined more thoroughly. It just felt very odd, because lying about being raped is so rare and to have this girl just nlog her way through her crush's innocence felt icky.

In fact, on my second readthrough, most of the other girls in this book are portrayed very badly, and kind of obviously inferior to Cait. There aren't really any positively portrayed female characters in this book except for her dad's sort-of girlfriend, who isn't really in the picture much at all. It feels like a spot-on portrait of slut-shaming 2000s party culture, and how that might look in a small town in the UK. Which makes this book feel quite dated, but not in a way that feels comfortably removed from today. I felt a lot of things while reading it, and while I still really liked it, I do wonder how much of that is nostalgia because I don't love it anymore.

Also, the quasi-paranormal stuff is just... bizarre. Why does he need to know the future? WHY?

4 out of 5 stars

Thursday, August 15, 2024

One of Us Is Dead by Jeneva Rose

 

ONE OF US IS DEAD has big May Cob energy. Someone asked me what this was about and I said it was like Real Housewives of Atlanta crossed with one of those cheesy murder shows. Our cast of bitchy character is as follows: Shannon, the ex-queen bee, now cringing in shame at being ousted from society and her marriage; Olivia, the new queen bee and possible sociopath, who will stop at nothing to get to the top; Keisha and Jenny, the employees of the poshest salon in town; Karen, a realtor with a failing marriage; and Crystal, the trophy wife who ousted Shannon from her own marriage (accidentally, ofc).

This is one of those books where everyone is horrible and hard to root for but that makes it extra fun. "What are these awful women going to do next?" I asked myself, as I turned the pages gleefully, supporting women's wrongs. Jeneva Rose is very good at writing flawed and compelling female characters and twist endings. Every time I think I've got it all figured out, she ends up surprising me.

One of the criticisms I've seen for this book is that the writing is repetitive and not "good," and yeah, if you're picking this up expecting Donna Tartt's Little Friend or even Gillian Flynn's Sharp Objects, you're going to be disappointed. Honestly, this is like a beach read with a little bit of glitter trash influence, courtesy of Jackie Collins. The focus isn't on telling a beautiful story so much as a compelling one that keeps you turning pages. I didn't like this one as much as her other book, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE, because the middle was a bit of a repetitive slog, but apart from that, I thought this book was both amusing and memorable. The perfect quick read.

3 to 3.5 out of 5 stars

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Keep Your Friends Close by Leah Konen

 

I have literally never read anything by Leah Konen before but now I think I might have to read more. Her style reminds me a lot of Greer Hendricks's and Sarah Pekkanen's, so if that's your vibe, I think you'll enjoy this one a lot. I found this in a little free library and stealth-read it, and it was a breezy read I finished in about two days.

Mary and Willa are friends, but we know from the dual timeline that something went wrong. They aren't friends anymore, and Mary has suffered some kind of betrayal. Willa, the pretty younger friend, was responsible for said betrayal and then she disappeared. Or did she? Because one day, Mary sees her again but she won't respond to her name.

This was a wild rollercoaster of a read with several twists and turns that I didn't see coming. Some of that was because the twists and turns in question didn't always fully make sense. But I was entertained. And, also, I really liked the feminine empowerment/girlpower themes of the book. All of the female characters were way more than they first seemed at face value, and I really liked that.

So it was a little silly, yes, but I was entertained.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Cracked by Eliza Crewe

 

CRACKED was published in 2013 and it shows, but not in a bad way. The tough as nails, sentient-Hot-Topic-tee, soul-devouring, ball-busting heroine is perfectly cast in the mold of Anita Blake-inspired, "strong female protagonists" that were popular in the day. She comes across as a little one-dimensional now, but I did enjoy her arrogance and sarcasm, and how she's an obvious reactionary response to the more Bella Swan-y heroines that were also popular at this time. If you enjoy Wednesday Addams-coded heroines, you'll love this.

The book literally opens with the heroine inside a mental asylum, pretending to be an inpatient so she can attack a predatory male nurse who preys on his female patients. His end is gory, and attracts the attention of some demons on the scene, who also planned to take the man's soul. Instead, they try to come for her and Meda, the heroine, is saved by some well-meaning but inept teen demon slayers called "Templars," including a doofy golden boy himbo named Chi.

Meda plays up the damsel in distress act while hiding her half-demon identity, determined to learn more about her heritage and this new, potentially dangerous enemy. The results are honestly pretty funny, and the book is fast-paced and filled with action, in a way that would honestly make it equally appealing to readers of all genders. I would have liked this more if I'd read it when it first came out, because I was in my early twenties then. Now, it's a little too YA for me, and Meda's one note sarcasm shtick got a little old after a while. I appreciate what this book represents, and it's a testament to its quality that it's aged as well as it has, but Harley Laroux has basically spoiled me for all other demon books.

That said, if you love the TV show, Wednesday, and are looking for something with similar vibes for Halloween, this would be a great pick. And the ebooks for the entire series are very affordably priced.

2.5 out of 5 stars

Where Ivy Dares to Grow by Marielle Thompson

 

WHERE IVY DARES TO GROW is a really interesting gothic romance about a woman named Saoirse who is engaged to a man named Jack, who comes from the Page family: a titled family that own a massive estate called Langdon, which has a rich and stately history. They are the most pretentious group of fucks that you could ever hope not to meet, and have even developed a cute little phrase for the things that they deem worthy of their time and notice: "Page important."

When Jack brings her home to tend to his dying mother, Saoirse realizes how "Page unimportant" she is, as she watches her husband-to-be fall out of love with her and treat her like a burden, not speaking a word in her defense when his parents castigate her for her worthless history PhD, for being too high maintenance and neurotic, and basically just treating her like so much dust on their damask curtains.

Pretty soon, though, strange things start happening. Saoirse starts to see shadows and strange things that shouldn't be there. She starts losing track of time. And then she meets a man named Theo, who is Jack's ancestor. But she likes him so much more than she ever did Jack. Which begs the question: is it really cheating to sleep with your fiance's ancestor's ghost? WHAT A PREMISE. Marielle Thompson, I love you.

This book got panned pretty heavily on Goodreads but I actually liked most of it. The writing is beautiful. Some people didn't like the prose but Thompson is trying to emulate the quintessential gothic novel. Victoria Holt, Mary Stewart, they all wrote like this. And the references to Jane Eyre-- this was intentional. Even though this book is set in 1994, it feels timeless, kind of straddling the various timelines like Langdon in this book. So in that sense, I think this book was actually quite successful in what it set out to do.

The love story was eh. I thought it was inoffensive, but I didn't feel much chemistry between the leads. It was still very beautifully written, but the middle really dragged because that's when she really starts to set up things between Saoirse and Theo. The beginning was the best and the ending was surprising and satisfying. I also liked the afterword where the author talked about her own mental illness, and how she never saw good representation of herself in media, so writing Saoirse with depersonalization-derealization disorder was actually quite cathartic for her.

3 out of 5 stars

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Streams and Schemes by Rebecca Kinkade

 

Five stars is not enough. Rom-coms are hard for me to get into, because so many of them kind of feel sweet and empty: the romance equivalent of those dry Safeway sugar cookies with the cheap frosting and dollar store sprinkles. Like, I'm not denying that they are comfort eating for some people or that they taste sweet, but I personally don't like them and they make me feel empty and kind of sick. NOT THIS BOOK, THOUGH. Seriously, STREAMS AND SCHEMES was everything that I do like in a romance novel. The romance equivalent of eating a molecular gastronomy cookie made with cloudberry mousse and yak butter, or something like that. AMAZING.

The heroine of this book, Valeria, is my absolute favorite. She's a camgirl and she loves her profession, and she is totally sex positive without being cringe. I also loved that she was Mexican and how the author portrayed both the positive and negative sides of what it can mean to grow up in that culture. Also, she SIGNS MEN UP for romance authors' newsletters when they piss her off. Genius.

The hero, Lander, is my new book boyfriend. An intimidating lawyer built like a tree who's a consent king in the streets and a "take it you little slut" in the sheets? We stan. He did the absolute sweetest gestures for the heroine and every time I didn't think I could swoon anymore, I did. He might be one of my favorite rom-com heroes of all time after Callum from MORBIDLY YOURS. I loved him.

These two are neighbors and are aware of each other-- possibly more so than either would suspect. When they get a text message saying that a ballistic missile is coming to DC in less than twenty minutes, Valeria goes to his door and they end up tearing each others' clothes off. And then they find out that the missile was a false alarm, so that last-fuck-on-earth is just hanging between them like a glittery dildo on a string, daring them to make eye contact with their unwanted sexual attraction. This book is so funny and has a lot of heart, and I will absolutely be diving into this author's backlist.

5 out of 5 stars

Monday, August 12, 2024

The Two Kinds of Decay: A Memoir by Sarah Manguso

 

THE TWO KINDS OF DECAY is about the author's experience with chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyradiculoneuropathy (CIDP), which was first misdiagnosed as Guillane-Barre syndrome. She was first hospitalized in 1994, and had her last flare-up in 1999, although until 2004, she was still suffering from emotional and psychological complications (depression) from the drugs she'd been on.

Medical gore is a trigger of mine so I was a little hesitant to read this, but the sample was fascinating and I felt like the blurb did a pretty good job setting the stage for the idea that this would be a graphic book. And indeed, much of this is lengthy descriptions of Manguso's medical treatments (some of which were experimental for the time), what it was like to go from being able-bodied to chronically ill, and the toll her illness took on her emotionally, socially, and physically.

The writing style was very beautiful and poetic (which is fitting because I think she is a poet). I didn't always understand the medical jargon and the end did start to feel a little repetitive after a while, but this was still a very interesting and fascinating read on a subject I knew nothing about. This also definitely feels like one of those memoirs that was written more for the benefit of the author than the reader, which I think helps knowing going in. Maybe this book could even save someone's life, if they recognize the symptoms in themselves.

Do NOT read this if medical descriptions or chronic illness are triggers for you. I could see this being a traumatizing read for someone who has experienced a recent loss or is in the process of/just finished receiving treatment. Some of the descriptions were a bit much for me, especially the needle insertion passages. (Blood and needles make me faint, sometimes even just reading about it is enough.)

3.5 out of 5 stars

Sunday, August 11, 2024

Where Sleeping Girls Lie by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

 

I honestly can't believe this was written by the same author who did ACE OF SPADES, which is one of my favorite YA dark academia books. I kept waiting for this one to suck me in but that never happened. The pacing is slow and there are a lot of tonal inconsistencies (quirky hijinks a la Disney channel shows like hamster escapes juxtaposed against very dark and serious issues, like SA and institutional discrimination). It just didn't work for me.

2 out of 5 stars

Where Darkness Blooms by Andrea Hannah

 

WHERE DARKNESS BLOOMS snagged my eye immediately with that haunting cover art. With god as my witness, I will never pass up creepygirl lit. Ever. In fact, that's how you'll know that I've been made into a pod person. You'll be like, "Hey, Nenia, want to read some creepygirl lit?" And Pod Nenia will be like, "Ew, no."

Set in the small Kansas town of Bishop, our story has three primary narrators: Whitney, Bo, and Delilah. They're all friends, united by their tragedy: two years ago, on the night of a bonfire, all three of their mothers went missing. In a town filled with sunflowers, and shaded by dark legacies, they're all three certain that something is rotten in Bishop. Something dangerous.

Something that might spell out death.

I powered through this in a day. It's a marvelous small town horror novel with culty vibes and feminist themes. However, it is a flawed read. All three girls sound pretty similar to each other and the story takes forEVER to pick up steam. It starts to become a really strong story in the middle/towards the end, although the ending was dragged out more than necessary. It honestly feels more like a debut than the work of a seasoned author, though according to the author's note, it sounded like this might be her first book after a long break, so in that case, it kind of is like a debut, I guess. Getting back into writing again after a long hiatus can be hard.

Honestly, I would recommend this to people who loved STARLINGS by Amanda Linsmeier and WHAT WE HARVEST by Ann Fraistat. Same vibes. In fact, do yourself a favor and just binge all three, back to back. Have yourself a creepygirl summer. You deserve it, babe.

I will never look at sunflowers the same way.

3 to 3.5 out of 5 stars

Saturday, August 10, 2024

Three Hearts Hideaway by Luna Day

 

I grabbed this for SYKD and thought it looked super cute. The girl on the cover kind of reminded me of Dua Lipa. THREE HEARTS HIDEAWAY is not what I was expecting at all, though, and I mean that in a good way. It's not just a small town romance, it's a smutty small town romance, about a woman who leaves her narcissistic and abusive ex after he humiliates her, somehow finding her way to what I can only imagine must be the Disneyland of Canada (Little Greenfield), picking up two hot B&B owners and entering into a poly relationship with them where they explore all her fantasies that she was shamed for having with her ex.

Man, I can't even find one dude who will treat me right and she found TWO? A real man could never compete with a fictional man, I swear.

Of the two I think I liked Logan more than Roman just because he gave off almost dark romance vibes. But I thought the dynamic was well done, and the enthusiastic consent and constant conversations and checking in were great. I've seen criticisms that some poly romances don't really handle this aspect well and I think it was done quite well here. Also, when they're not railing her six ways from Sunday, they treat her like a queen. Gin tasting? Gourmet chocolate? SIGN ME UP.

My only issue with the book was that it was a little too insta-lusty for me. Like some of the other readers, I wish there had been more build-up and tension to the relationship. But I understand that that wasn't necessarily what the author wanted to do with this book. It's just why it didn't work for me quite as well as it could have. I do highly recommend THREE HEARTS HIDEAWAY to anyone who really likes Eve Dangerfield, however, as I feel like they have very similar styles. It's the girly girl with the kinky heart that did it for me.

Also, seeing her horrible ex get punched in the face was solid gold.

3 out of 5 stars

Friday, August 9, 2024

Hide by Kiersten White

 

Once again, I'm shocked that the reviews for this are as negative as they are. HIDE is not a perfect book but it's a really interesting one, with some of my favorite tropes. At first, it kind of starts out feeling very dystopian, a sort of Hunger Games-esque quest for survival with fourteen contestants starring in a reality TV show about eluding capture in an amusement park. But the truth is creepier than that.

I don't want to say too much else because I actually think the twist is really great. There's a lot about breaking cycles of abuse and the legacies of violence, which I thought was really interesting. I'm guessing the low ratings are because of the unlikable characters, the supernatural elements, and the somewhat unsatisfying and abrupt ending, but none of those things really bothered me all that much. I do feel like the story is a little unpolished and it feels more like a debut than a seasoned author's work, but it's also a really fun, short horror novel and I appreciated that she held back on the violence and splatter.

There's something very Stephen King-like about this book. It kind of felt like a threeway cross between IT, JOYLAND, and THE LONG WALK.

3 out of 5 stars

Thursday, August 8, 2024

The Heiress by Rachel Hawkins

 

This was great, kind of a cross between Knives Out and THE SEVEN HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO. There's three narrators: Ruby, the infamous patriarch of the McTavish fortune, who survived four unlucky husbands, and kidnapped as a child; Camden, her heir by means of adoption, hated by all of the by-blood McTavishes; and Jules, Camden's wife, a calm and ruthless woman who is determined to see to it that her husband gets everything that he deserves.

I could not put this down and was utterly obsessed with it. When I wasn't reading this book, I was thinking about it, and wondering what would happen next. It's similar to the stories that I like to write, and even references a folktale I've used in one of my own works because it's such a sinister favorite (The Scorpion and the Frog! It's so good), which felt like kismet. I feel like one of the biggest compliments that you can give another author is saying that you wish that you'd written the story-- except that's not true, because with the historical elements, mixed media format, and three distinct and vicious voices of the narrator, I could not have done this book justice the way she did.

I've read and loved THE WIFE UPSTAIRS, because it was a Jane Eyre retelling (another one of my favorite books), but this one was even better. There's more of a romance angle, which I loved, and Camden was hot. It had the same doomed family legacy vibes as Roanoke Girls and Fall of the House of Usher, so if that's your vibe, you'll eat this up. I hope they make it into a Netflix series.

5 out of 5 stars

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

The Opposite of Hallelujah by Anna Jarzab

 

I've read a lot of YA titles about religious abuse and religious trauma but THE OPPOSITE OF HALLELUJAH is the first book I've read that discusses teens using religion as a crutch for their other problems. The heroine of this book is a girl named Caro, who is a typical bratty teen girl with the usual litany of bratty teen girl problems, except for one: her older sister has returned from the convent that she joined at age eighteen and is acting super weird. Everyone in the family is tiptoeing around her and she's eleven years older than Caro, so the age-gap and the weirdness is totally not the vibe.

When Caro gets stressed out, she panics and lies. When she was younger, this earned her the nickname "Caroliar," and old habits die hard. She starts dating a cute Polish guy but when he starts asking questions about her homelife, she panics and starts lying to him, too, as well as her friends. Tensions sky rocket in her family and her friends start to get angry about her pushing them away, and the reader is left with the glaring question: what happened to send Hannah away to the convent for all those years and why is she back now?

There were some charming dated references, like iPods and K'nex and Facebook being the ultimate college networking site (lol), which I thought were really fun. I also liked the "unlikable" and difficult heroine. She felt super realistic. A lot of YA writers won't let their teens be teens but Caro really felt like one. I do think this was too long and maybe a little too ambitious. I think it tried to tackle too many subjects at once which detracted from having a central plot to follow and gave this a convoluted vibe. But the writing was great and it reminded me a lot of Sarah Dessen's angsty teen girl books. Also, I liked the religious angle. I think a lot of people will probably find it very relatable.

3 out of 5 stars

Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz

 

TEETH is such an immersive, interesting story. Reading it kind of felt like watching one of Hayao Miyazaki's darker, more adult movies, like Princess Mononoke, where human nature is put under the microscope and nothing is resolved with easy answers. It's set on an island with magical fish. Eating them cures any disease and prolongs life. Rudy is there with his family because his younger brother has cystic fibrosis, and if he doesn't eat the fish, his lungs don't work.

One day, while on the shore, Rudy meets a being named Teeth. Teeth is a mermaid-- sort of-- but not the kind that they make dolls of. He's hideously ugly and every night, he opens the fish traps and frees the fish, depleting the supply that all of the islanders desperately need. He also hates humans, but for whatever reason, he lets Rudy get close. And as the story progresses and the two boys grow closer, Rudy learns more about the mysterious Teeth and the secrets the island harbors.

This was not a perfect story by any means-- I do feel the ending lacked closure and some of that was intentional and some of it felt like an omission-- but it was transportive, lyrical, and beautiful, with a truly well done cast of "unlikable" and flawed characters, and a setting that was practically a character itself. I'm shocked that this book has fallen into obscurity instead of becoming a classic, because it is SO good. Thank god I have more Hannah Moskowitz books on my Kindle. I think I might have to read everything she ever wrote because this was just... amazing.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Monday, August 5, 2024

Clever Creatures of the Night by Samantha Mabry

 

CLEVER CREATURES OF THE NIGHT is such an interesting book, part gothic, part survivalist horror. There's a very isolated and desolate vibe to the book, almost dystopic, and I would describe the vibe as "assemble style gothic": the heroine ends up in a remote area, trapped with a somewhat large cast, all of whom have something to hide, when she goes to first seek out answers about why her friend invited her to a rural Texas house out in the middle of nowhere-- and then, later, why she appears to have gone missing.

The 2.77 rating shocked me because the writing style is fantastic and Mabry did a great job writing an unlikable but relatable heroine. Apart from the somewhat surreal atmosphere and, I guess, slightly anticlimactic ending, the unlikability is the only thing I saw that would even slightly warrant a rating like this. And even so, I feel like I can think of similar titles that didn't elicit a reaction like this.

Personally, I fell in love with this author's writing after reading TIGERS, NOT DAUGHTERS, and knew I would have to read everything else she ever wrote. The MEXICAN GOTHIC comp is honestly fairly on-point, maybe with a dash of SADIE by Courtney Summers. If you're into raw and visceral young adult books, with fierce girls and a hint of tragedy, you'll probably love this book.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Friday, August 2, 2024

Her Soul to Take by Harley Laroux

 

I'm feeling some major Halloween vibes right now so all I want to read are gothic romances and vampires, and HER SOUL TO TAKE was, like, exactly what I needed in this moment to scratch the itch. Not only is it a deliciously smutty story about a demon with a degradation kink, it's also darkly atmospheric, with cults, demons, eldritch horrors, sacrifices, creepy small towns, and cannibalism. Wooooo.

I actually don't have too much to say about this one, to be honest, mostly because I think it's best to go in cold (unless you need to review the trigger warnings). For a horror romance, it's pretty lite on the actual horrors; I think the biggest triggers are probably the degradation scenes and the nipple piercing. The romance itself is actually pretty sweet once it gets rolling and the banter is top-tier, even as it shifts from enemies to lovers. Loved Rae's alt girl blogger vibe and the shenanigans Leon got up to with his fork tongue. The cemetery "dining" scene will be living rent-free in my head for a while. Also, there's a chubby kitty named Cheesecake that lives.

Can't wait to read more of their work.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Thursday, August 1, 2024

Bride by Ali Hazelwood

 

I was so curious about BRIDE ever since I heard that Hazelwood was breaking from her usual female-lab-scientist-in-love formula to do a PNR. And it was going to be Omegaverse lite??? With knotting? Yeah, there was no way I was knot going to read that. But this book was so hard to get a copy of. For a while, there were no used copies available and everywhere was sold out. It was popular AF. I was intrigued AF.

Now that I've finally read it, I can see why. It still has the rom-com vibes of Hazelwood's other books, but she takes a breather on the "oh my god, I'm so smol" descriptions that her heroines usually have. Misery, the vampire heroine, is still a STEM heroine-- she's a computer hacker who has been living amongst the humans for years-- but she's a lot more likable and interesting than some of Hazelwood's other heroines, and oh my god, I loved the dry humor and medical jargon. This is definitely a more scientific take on vamps.

I also loved Lowe, the hero. He was so charming and hot and nice, and kind of reminded me a little of Curran, from the Kate Daniels series. Actually, BRIDE as a whole very much has a sort of aughts paranormal throwback vibe to it, and reading it made me very nostalgic for some of the urban fantasy romances that I read back when I was in college. I'm sure that's part of the reason why other people love it, too. Even though there's not a ton of plot, it's a fun journey and there's some fantastic twists. Especially if you love her take on fake dating/misunderstanding tropes.

And I heard she's writing a sequel? Thank GOD.

4 out of 5 stars

Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang

 

NATURAL BEAUTY is a weird fucking book. It definitely feels like a debut, but not necessarily in a bad way. Sometimes debut books are brave experiments, where the author takes a risk and tells the story the way they envisioned it, even if it takes you to dark and twisted places. This is a timely, almost darkly satirical piece about women's bodily autonomy, the sadism of the beauty industry, and the very real danger of unregulated beauty and pseudo-medical supplements.

The unnamed protagonist used to be a piano prodigy until a terrible tragedy made her lose her heart in playing. She's working a minimum wage job at a restaurant when she's scouted by a beautiful woman who recognizes her from her piano playing days, who works at a business called Holistik. She offers the FMC a job.

Right away, Holistik feels a little... off. All of their medical treatments and products have bizarre ingredients and they are adamant that employees try the supplements and products-- as many as possible. Including the experimental ones, although they won't force you to do that. Probably. Probably, right?

Half of this book is very slow and more unsettling than horrifying. The last half is a rollercoaster of body horror and gore. I'm a wuss, and several scenes had me turning away and going, "Oh my god, EW." You'll definitely want to check the triggers on this one if animal cruelty and SA are triggers for you. Ultimately, I thought that this was more interesting than good. V.J. Chambers has a similar Stepford Wives-by-way-of-the-beauty-industry book that I enjoyed a little more called PERFECT. This book felt like that, if it were written in one of Mona Awad's surreal fever dreams.

2.5 out of 5 stars

Tuesday, July 30, 2024

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea

 

Black Swan except she makes a deal with the devil to get her talent. Also, there's a hot monster-boy with antlers and the heroine is more than happy to step into the role of the villain while screaming about how everyone is going to pay with her whole chest. Do we stan? We stan.

I FEED HER TO THE BEAST AND THE BEAST IS ME has some pretty ambitious shoes to fill with a blurb that literally compares it to both HOUSE OF HOLLOW and ACE OF SPADES, two of my favorite YA books. But honestly, after reading this book to the end, I'd say that not only is that a pretty apt comp, it's a really solid book. 

Laure is a down-on-her-luck ballerina oozing talent who is struggling to keep afloat in her snooty Parisian ballet school. Why? Because racism, classism, nepotism. Anyone would get pissed, but Laure has a take-no-shit personality that makes her even less tolerant to anyone giving her anything less than what she feels she deserves. So when she befriends a girl who takes her down to the catacombs and shows her a whispering river of blood, she doesn't exactly ask too many questions.

It took me a while to get used to this author's unique writing style but once I did, I was hooked. Some reviewers said that this book got a little slow in the last act and I would agree with that, which is why this is a four star review and not a five one, but the ending was AMAZING. Anyone who loves dark fantasy, gothic horror, and morally grey heroines is going to love this one. I will read literally anything else that this author writes, including the sequel. Stan, stan, stan.

4 out of 5 stars

Monday, July 29, 2024

Feed The Birds: A Gothic Mary Poppins Reimagining by Dakota Wilde

 

I'd never heard of this author before but I was actually high-key impressed. When you pick up a gothic Mary Poppins retelling, it can really only go one of two ways: fanciful whimsigoth or balls-to-the-wall insanity. I'm happy to report that this was the latter, because the latter is way more fun. I'm actually shocked that this doesn't have more ratings, actually, because erotic horror is HUGE. Maybe this book just hasn't found it's right audience yet, I hope it does. Halloween is just around the corner, y'all. Read this book!

FEED THE BIRDS is the story of Marigold Peppins: a woman cursed to be bound by the wind. Her only companions are her birds as she walks the streets of London, looking for the only thing that can break the curse. Barrett Blackford is a widower looking for someone to take care of his children. He's not expecting Mary, and he expects even less to be utterly attracted to her to the point of obsession.

But given Mary's curse, this can only end one way.

The writing was honestly so gorgeous at times and I thought the story was haunting (spoiler: not a romance). Novellas can be hard but I thought Wilde did a great job sticking to her page count and making the story work. My one real qualm is actually shared by the top negative reviewer for this book, and it's something I don't normally comment on except it was exceptionally noticeable here: the editing was pretty bad. There was about one incorrect use of a comma per page, and several noticeable mispellings that would have been caught by a pass with spell check. I enjoyed the story anyway but some people can be real hardasses about that, so if that's you, maybe don't read this book.

I would read more from this author. I think she has a fun tongue-in-cheek approach to gothic horror. 

3 to 3.5 out of 5 stars

Caress and Conquer by Donna Comeaux Zide

 

DNF @ 19%

It's been a while since I read a book I REALLY did not like but CARESS AND CONQUER was that for me. It reads a lot like Kathleen Woodiwiss at her worst, so if you really like Woodiwiss's style, you might really enjoy Donna Comeaux Zide. The opening, the daughter of a pirate watching her father's execution, reminded me a lot of the scene in Pam Godwin's SEA OF RUIN (which I loved). Possibly, this could have even been inspo for that since it's clear that Godwin loves old bodice-rippers from how well she captured the style. So that's one good thing this book did. But the racism, dated stereotypes, and heavy prose just didn't work for me. Sorry.

I'm very excited this was rereleased, though. I hope for everyone's sake that more of these old bodice-rippers get put on Kindle because I think they're crucial in how they've shaped romance history.

1 out of 5 stars

Most Delicious Poison: The Story of Nature's Toxins―From Spices to Vices by Noah Whiteman

 

It's been a while since I picked up a book that would make my FBI handler itchy, and MOST DELICIOUS POISON seemed like just the ticket. It's written by a biologist who has a fascination for poisons, and, to quote Paracelsus, it's the dose that makes the poison.

Discussing everything from cocaine to capsaicin, MOST DELICIOUS POISON is a pretty exhaustive book that discusses some of the toxic compounds that hide inside the things that we ingest. He also points out, repeatedly, that all natural does not necessarily equal "good for you." A reminder I think a lot of people could use in the age of wellness influencers dispensing medical advice without medical degrees.

I'd give this a higher rating if not for a couple things. (1) I didn't feel like the book was organized all that well, and the overall effect was a grab bag of miscellaneous information. (2) The author really inserted himself into the narrative and sometimes this works, but a predominant theme of the book was the death of his father from alcohol use disorder (AUD). He brings it up repeatedly, even when it doesn't always makes contextual sense. As someone who just their father to brain cancer, I was sympathetic, but this was also very triggering and I wasn't expecting to see it in a book about poison food. (3) There's a single reference to autism spectrum disorder being listed with a bunch of diseases that could be potentially treated with mustard oils. I thought that was odd and something that could be potentially upsetting to readers.

Overall, this felt like a passion project and it did contain a lot of fun and interesting information, but the tone wasn't toning and I do think that the execution fell a little flat (which is probably why it has such mixed reviews for a nonfic book, which generally tend to skew high).

2 to 2.5 out of 5 stars

Sunday, July 28, 2024

The Sacrifice by Rin Chupeco

 

THE SACRIFICE was a total impulse-buy for me, considering I wasn't too fond of the last book I read by this author. But everything about this book sounded so awesome that I wanted to give it a try anyway. A haunted island in the Philippines where a racially insensitive American film crew awakens something terrible while trying to film a ghost hunting show? And a nonbinary lead?

Yeah, there's no way we're saying no to any of that.

And I was so right, by the way. This was fun. Creepy and a little gory, but not more than I, a wuss, could handle. I forgot to mute my phone and when the notification alarm went off while I was in the middle of one of the scarier scenes, I literally JUMPED (and I was holding a water glass, so guess who got soaked???). The anticolonialist message pours from the pages, couched in rage, which serve as a nice counterpoint to the dry irony of the narrator, Alon, who knows that the interlopers are making a terrible mistake, but also knows that they won't heed their warnings because of their arrogance.

My only qualm is that the pacing felt uneven. There were a lot of slow moments. I get that slower beats are a necessity to allow readers to absorb the horror, which was quite well done, but I did find myself losing interest at some parts in the third act. The villain(s) were also kind of caricatures of evil, but because this feels like an homage to classic horror, I feel like that actually worked here. At many points, this feels like a satire of monster horror movies, and I kind of loved that.

Definitely read this if you like folk horror and East Asian settings!

3 to 3.5 stars

Saturday, July 27, 2024

The Bride of Lycaster by Perci Jay

 

Holy cliffhanger, Batman! I am so glad that I picked this up literally right before the sequel came out, or I would have been PISSED lol. THE BRIDE OF LYCASTER was exactly the fantasy romance that I needed to read right now, in part because it made me feel so nostalgic for the fantasy romances I read in college, like Mercedes Lackey's 500 Kingdoms series, Sherwood Smith's Crown and Court Duel, and Maria V. Snyder's incredibly magical and suspenseful Study series.

The heroine, Serafina, lives in a patriarchal society where marriages are brokered based on power alliances. When her brothers die in battle, she is scarcely allowed to grieve before being shunted off to an all girls' academy where the status of her virginity is rigorously monitored and she is basically groomed to be a rich man's bride. But Serafina is not one to sit idle: unbeknownst to her family or the instructors, she has made a secret alliance with the son of a duke, and they plan to choose each other when they graduate, in what he believes is a love match, and what she just sees as a way out.

But... Serafina doesn't end up with the duke's son. Instead, she ends up with a nine-foot tall war hero, who some say is a half-giant, and others say is cursed. Also, she's 5 feet tall.

Like many people who picked up this book, I was hooked by the "he's 9 feet tall" device, thinking that this would be monsterotica. But it's actually a very well-thought-out new adult fantasy romance that deftly explores many complex themes, like the ugliness of war and the PTSD that can follow, the destructive nature of purity culture and internalized misogyny, and the devastating effects of toxic masculinity. Even though Riyan is nine feet tall and yoked AF, being a caricature of masculinity doesn't make him happy. He's actually painfully sensitive and doesn't really feel like he's allowed to be, which often causes him to resort to anger or violence instead. Likewise, Serafina has been so ruthlessly exploited that it has made her a calculating schemer, because hurt people hurt people.

I waffled between four and five stars while reading, which is a good problem to have as a reader. This book was ultimately what I wanted Sarah J. Maas to be for me, but wasn't, and lives up to the declaration that it has a cast of "morally grey everyones." I really, really enjoyed it and can't wait to read the rest.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Thursday, July 25, 2024

Brontë Lovers by Angela Pearse

 

I grabbed BRONTE LOVERS during a Stuff Your Kindle Day event. I am obsessed with the Brontes and even have a series of videos on TikTok about random Charlotte Bronte trivia and reviews of Jane Eyre retellings. The heroine of BRONTE LOVERS, Lizzy, is dating a guy named Klint, who is doing his thesis on 19th century steam engines. She wants to do hers on the Brontes but isn't fully sure where to begin, although being in the town of Haworth, where the Brontes grew up and were inspired to write their books, is sparking her imagination.

When she meets Dain, who works at the parsonage, she's immediately attracted to him. Not only does he dress up in period attire to do tours, he's just as obsessed with the Brontes as she is, and he has the emotional warmth and availability that her boyfriend lacks. Klint also is moody and temperamental and he has a parasomnia where he actually bites(!!) her in his sleep, causing bruises that she can't explain away. Even though she's still invested in her relationship with Klint, she can't resist the attraction she has for Dain. DRAMA ENSUES!

So I didn't realize when I picked this up that this was a cheating romance or I probably wouldn't have read it, since that's not really my thing. I loved the Bronte trivia, though, and I think the author did a great job of showing why Klint and Lizzy were wrong with each other without resorting to extremes. What made the book a little bit of a hard sell for me was the pseudo paranormal elements and the fact that the heroine freaks out over the hero being bisexual and says some really biphobic things. Up until that point, I kind of got why she emotionally cheated on Klint, and could see why she and Dain worked together, but the biphobia just felt like a total breach of his trust. I do think she felt remorseful about her reaction, and the HEA works... but it was hard to come back from that.

Overall, though, I really enjoyed BRONTE LOVERS and can't wait to read more from this author. There's a very 2000s-era chicklit vibe to this book that made me feel nostalgic, and she totally brought the small English village setting to life. It's hard not to love that, flaws and all.

3.5 to 4 out of 5 stars

Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Hemlock Island by Kelley Armstrong

 

Oh my gosh, that was actually so amazing??? I don't understand why this has such low ratings because it is literally everything I want out of gothic horror. In fact, it actually reminded me a lot of T. Kingfisher's horror novels, in the sense that no matter how chilling or gory it got, there was something almost cozy about it because of how likable the heroine was, and how great (most of) the side characters were.

The premise is pretty simple. Laney got Hemlock House after her divorce from her rich CEO husband, Kit. She adores it and looks forward to living there whenever she can, but in order to keep it, she has to rent it out to people who are often assholes. Lately, said renters have been even more assholish than usual: someone is leaving behind creepy symbols and sick pranks. Her most recent batch of renters fled after demanding their deposit back when they found blood.

Laney goes down to the island to find out what's going on, accompanied by her niece/ward, Madison, and finds that she's been beaten to the punch by her ex-husband, his sister, Jayla, and two other people from her past: Sadie and Garrett. They agree to spend the night on the island but things quickly become tense, because all of them have reasons for growing distant from one another. And when creepy things start happening and escape becomes impossible, Laney realizes that maybe the "pranks" weren't pranks after all.

Someone might be sending her a message.

I loved this so much. I literally had no idea what was going on and even though the ending was a little cheesy, I still loved it because it worked for the story and definitely passed the vibe check. Also, as with other works I've read by this author, she's effortlessly diverse. Heroine has anxiety (never related to a character as much as I did when she said that having people in her house made her want to reach for the weed gummies). Her ex husband and ex-best friend, Jayla, are Black. Trigger warning for references to SA and pretty descriptive gore, but apart from that, there's nothing too horrific (I'm a wuss lol).

Can't wait to read more from this author. This book slapped.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Monday, July 22, 2024

Five Broken Blades by Mai Corland

 

FIVE BROKEN BLADES was the cheesy fantasy-fest that was exactly what I needed to get out of my reading slump and big heaping thanks to my friend, who bought me the "special edition" version with the sprayed edges. I feel like the best way to describe this book is that it's Asian-inspired fantasy with a fast-paced heist vibe reminiscent of One Piece or Blue Eye Samurai. In the author's note, it kind of sounded like the author wrote this book as a way of reconnecting with her Korean heritage, and I thought that was neat.

This book had SO MANY POVs, though. It took me forever to get used to all the head-hopping, especially since the chapters were so short. There's Royo, an assassin for hire (he kind of reminded me of Roronoa Zoro); Sora, a female assassin whose body is made out of poison (think Poison Ivy crossed with Cat Woman); Aeri, a ditzy thief with a dark secret (I was kind of picturing her as Saint Tail but older); Mikail, a jaded assassin; Euyn, a spoiled and indolent younger prince now on the run for his life; and Ty, a spymaster and son of a count.

The world building was pretty easy to understand and there were some nice adornments that made it feel unique, although I sometimes found myself wishing for more details. Part of my frustration with the short chapters and multi-POV format is that it made the book feel very choppy at times, and the author seemed to feel the need to end each chapter with a cliffhanger that sometimes felt a little bit like getting slapped in the face. Especially if we were at a part of the book that I thought was interesting and wanted to hear more about. The premise was great though-- who doesn't want to hear about a bunch of down-on-their-luck iconoclasts who want to hunt down and kill a god king? Especially when their summons come semi-anonymously, locked-room-mystery style. You know there's sus-nanigans afoot.

I think if you go into this book expecting really detailed world-building, you might be disappointed. It's also not as spicy or romance-heavy as FOURTH WING, despite being from the same publisher. Most of the sex scenes in here were vague or fade-to-black. I think it would be appropriate for older teens and would probably classify this as new adult, since the characters were in their early twenties. This is costume fantasy, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as you're just looking for something escapist and not something semi-literary to be snobby about. And there were some great twists at the end! So I would definitely consider reading more from this author.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Thursday, July 18, 2024

Sanctuary of the Shadow by Aurora Ascher

 

I almost preordered this as soon as they dropped the cover and the gorgeous sprayed edges, because I loved THE FOURTH WING, and I figured that they had gone out and acquired a bunch of really similar stories to chase the smashing success of the dragon romantasy series. Plus, I saw some early reviews comparing this to THE NIGHT CIRCUS meets Avatar: The Last Airbender and someone (a liar, as it turns out) put it on a list of WUTHERING HEIGHTS retellings. So the marketing was marketing, and I was ready to be obsessed...

...Except, for a hyped-up fantasy romance from a BIG publisher with a successful release, this had incredibly mixed advance reviews.

So I didn't preorder and basically was only tangentially aware of this book's existence as a pretty cover in my orbit housing a book that I might or might not want to read-- until one of my friends bought it for me as an early birthday present. Now that I've read it, I'm both surprised and also not surprised that it did so badly with its audience, because this feels like it's trying very hard to emulate Sarah J. Maas: it's got a bat boy shadow daddy, everyone purrs with pleasure and rolls their shoulders, and the smut smuts like a 1980s bodice-ripper that's got Fabio on the cover. SJM might not be my taste, but she's very popular, and I'm kind of surprised her fans weren't more into this, especially the HOUSE OF BREATH AND BLOOD people.

I personally felt like the world-building was way too shallow. I didn't understand how these various Elementals were really tied to their elements and why they looked the way they did, and I felt like the big war between the feuding queens was seriously underplayed, especially since it's partially responsible for the main conflict of the book. Every time there is a big conflict, it's resolved almost instantly, which doesn't feel interesting and didn't leave me feeling very invested. Also, the heroine tells the hero she loves him after five days, two of which he is in a cage, barely talking and suffering from amnesia, and I think the remaining three, they're just banging nonstop (over three fairly long chapters). I was kind of surprised, since it didn't seem like they had much chemistry and I seem to recall that his soul was compared to a child's because it was so pure and empty, so that was weird and a little uncomfy. I feel like the author was trying to subvert the trope of experienced man/naive and childlike woman by reversing the genders, and in that sense, I get what she was trying to do, but I don't like that trope between an EM and N&CW, and I didn't like it with an EW and a N&CM.

Overall, this kind of ended up being a disappointment for me, which makes me sad because I really wanted to love it and be this book's champion, because I often feel like when a book has a Goodreads average rating this low, that usually means they weren't able to find their target audience. That still might be the case, because, like I said, this really had strong HOUSE OF BREATH AND BLOOD vibes, if it were written as one of those fantasy Harlequins, so I think if you read it as a cheesy romance with the understanding that the world-building and fantasy elements are mostly just window dressing, you'll probably like it more than people who picked it up expecting another FOURTH WING.

2 out of 5 stars

Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber

 

DNF @ p.108

I loved CARAVAL and liked LEGENDARY, so even though I ended up not liking FINALE, I was still excited about the spinoff series about Jacks, Once Upon a Broken Heart. The beginning starts off super promising, with Evangeline making a deal with a Fate to stop her stepsister from marrying the man she thinks she's in love with-- only for it to turn into a Curse of the Monkey's Paw sort of situation where sometimes the resolution is worse than the curse.

Here's the thing about Stephanie Garber: her books feel like the stories we all wrote in our bedrooms when we were sixteen. There will be people with names like Morning Glory and Neptunia, and kisses will taste like vanilla ice cream and all the men will smell like candles. I say this without any malice in my heart because I do think there is a certain charm to this style of writing-- one of my guilty pleasure reads is ENCHANTED PARADISE by Johanna Hailey, which is basically a Sarah J. Maas book if it were written in the 1980s. It worked for me in CARAVAL because I think there was a better danger to whimsy ratio, but here, everything just felt a little too fluffy and frothy for me to take seriously. I got really bored and kept putting it down. I don't think I'll pick it up again.

2 to 2.5 out of 5 stars

The Wicked and the Willing by Lianyu Tan

 

One totally valid criticism about both dark romance and erotic horror is that they tend to be heteronormative, and finding a sapphic variant of either can be a chore. Therefore, I was super excited to find out that THE WICKED AND THE WILLING is a sapphic work of erotic vampire horror set in Singapore during the roaring twenties.

Our cast of characters are Gean Choo, a young and desperate girl who needs employment to pay off her father's debts; Mrs. Edevane, a British colonialist reaping the benefits of her beauty and privilege while feasting upon the locals; and Po Lam, Mrs. Edevane's gender queer estate manager, who she bought as a slave when she was a child. There are other players but these are the three main ones, who revolve around each other's orbits like toxic little doomed stars.

I really appreciated how vampirism was an allegory for colonialism (and I confirmed this with the author-- it IS canon). Mrs. Edevane literally consumes the locals, and she is blind to their plight or their culture, exotifying her Asian lovers, indulging in casual racism when it suits her, and devouring the people whenever it suits her. She is a destructive force, using a foreign country as her refuge and playground. But, as a woman, she is also a victim to a man who hunts her footsteps. Which shows how someone can be an oppressor but still a victim of infrastructural prejudice, even within a colonial structure. The complexity and nuances were brilliantly done.

This is a very violent book-- sexually, emotionally, and physically-- and I had a hard time reading some of the graphic rapes and torture scenes. It starts out so slow and unsettlingly, but by the end of the book, it's a blood bath. None of the characters are particularly likable and I don't think they're supposed to be, although I loved Po Lam's character and I really empathized with Gean Choo's desperation as the motivator for so many of her actions. Even some of the almost humorous scenes, like Gean Choo fleeing a nest of East Asian folkloric monsters when her period comes during a party, are couched in dread and horror. This is like intellectual grindhouse, which I feel is probably the vibe the author was going for, and I think extreme horror fans will probably like it, especially if they have been hungering for queer and diverse entries in the canon that aren't Eric Larocca.

Interestingly, this story has a "choose your own ending" ending. There are three endings: two are in this book and apparently there's a third ending you can get by signing up for their mailing list. I'm not sure how I feel about this-- I read both endings and I think the author made both work, and suit the characters, but it also felt like a lack of commitment to the story. THE WICKED AND THE WILLING has a very strong beginning and I loved the portrayal of vampires and the gays-behaving-badly themes of the work, as well as the anti-colonialist narrative, but the ending petered out a bit and became far too violent for my own personal tastes, and even though I appreciated the uniqueness of this ending, I didn't really like it. I did ultimately like the book, though, and would definitely read more from this author.

3 out of 5 stars

Friday, July 12, 2024

After the Shut Up Ring by Cate C. Wells

 

I'm kind of shocked that this has such mixed reviews because I thought it was fantastic. This is the first time I can remember seeing a romance heroine with herpes represented in a book, and I thought the way the author handled her insecurities, without coming across as insensitive or judgemental in the metatext, was really well done. The research seemed accurate too (although I'm not a doctor, so, like, don't quote me on that). I was just really impressed with this narrative choice.

Angie breaks up with her boyfriend-turned-fiance AT THEIR WEDDING after he reads aloud a series of incredibly humiliating vows that belittle and berate her in front of all their family and friends. Brandon, her childhood friend who has been in love with her for all of these years, witnesses this and it makes him very angry-- but part of him is also pleased, because this is his chance to get Angie for himself. But he doesn't know that Angie has an STD and she's terrified to tell him, even though she knows that it isn't really her fault.

I loved so much about this book. Nobody writes strong simp daddies like Cate C. Wells. I love all of her heroes, they're so dreamy. And the fact that he's been in love with her for years? LOVE TO SEE IT. Angie was also a great character. We love to see a single mom who would do anything for her kids, and I thought her character arc of recovering from her would-be husband's emotional abuse was really done. This isn't usually my go-to genre of romance but I love the way she does characters and how they feel so real, like people I could meet right on the street.

Still an autobuy author, for sure!

4 out of 5 stars