Wednesday, August 23, 2023

WtAFW: Unhinged by Vera Valentine


Why yes, I did read the book where the heroine of the story decides to fuck her front door. Unhinged is definitely the perfect name for this bizarre erotic romance, and I certainly didn't have horny hardwood on my bingo card for 2023, but you know what? That's what the free space is for.

Every week I try to read at least one erotica or romance that has people going WTF! That is how What the Actual Fuck Wednesday was born. I think I actually read one of this author's other books for that challenge before: if I recall correctly, it was SQUEAK, her erotic short about a woman who becomes sexually entangled with two shape-shifters that can turn into balloon animals (and their come tastes like cinnamon frosting).

This book was way better written and had a better plot. The heroine lives alone, but she has a companion: her front door, who loves her from afar and watches everything she does. Which is why he knows that her landlord is a creep who plans to do terrible things to her. One night, the door has a visit from Zeus who tells the door that he is made from one of his sacred oak trees and if the door can get the heroine to fuck him, he can become a real boy. 

Door convinces the heroine to do this in a dream and she rides his knob which turns him human. Then they have sex with both of them as humans, too. I don't want to say too much else because spoilers, but I thought it was interesting how the door had a praise kink and enjoyed being called a "good door" or a "good boy." The entire book is narrated in door's POV and he gives himbo/golden retriever energy, which is honestly a kind of refreshing change from the heroes I normally read about.

I didn't love this book but I had a lot of fun reading it and it was waaaay better written than her previous book, which I felt was a little dialed in. So I'm giving this a three star rating rounded up from a 2.5. The author did a good job filling out the page count and the premise and execution was just too amusing to give it anything lower than that.

2.5 out of 5 stars

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