WtAFW: Mating with the Mantis by M.J. Edwards

 

M.J. Edwards is the author of some of those coronavirus erotica that went viral not too long ago but then she kind of fell off the radar. She published a couple follow-ups, including a scatological offering in which a woman takes a shit and then fucks it, but none reached that same initial burst of success. I still think about her books sometimes, though, usually when it's Wednesday and I'm being forced to read something weird for my weekly What the Actual Fuck Wednesday challenge. So for the sake of old times, I popped over to her Goodreads profile to see if she had published anything new.

She had.

Dr. Penningforthly is an oh-so-smart female insectologist with a problem. She would like to fuck a mantis, so much so that she has forced human sex partners to paint themselves green whilst wearing a mantis mask, and has even filled a whole bathtub full of mantises while trying to, you know. The woman actually has a death count of the number of mantises she has killed by trying to fuck them. WTF.

Anyway, one day this insectologist sees some people wheeling an enlargement ray around, because insectology is all about, uh, enlargement. She gets a wicked idea so wicked that it makes her horny and she has to rub one out. Then she runs to the mantis cages and grabs a mantis. She puts him in the ray, but it doesn't just zap him bigger-- it turns her into a mantis as well. They bang but oh no, she forgot that female mantises eat their partners after sex. THE REGRET! Oh, the terrible, terrible-- hmm, lovey kind of tastes good. Time to eat him out-- literally. RIP mantis.

The book ends with Dr. Penningforthly shrinking back to normal mantis size. A scientist finds her and puts her back into the mantis tank. But because he is not a clever insectologist like herself, he doesn't realize she's a girl mantis. He puts her into the boy mantis tank. Dr. Penningforthly does the book character equivalent of sprouting devil horns whilst mugging a smile for the audience. End scene.

This book was cringe even for M.J. Edwards's standards. I don't think I have winced my way through a book like this since WET HOT ALLOSAURUS SUMMER, in which the allosaurus in question tears off and eats the heroine's gangrenous arm during sex before cheating on her. This should provide a Litmus test for you to gauge the levels of gross present in this book. Pass me a bucket, please.

1 out of 5 stars