Wednesday, January 4, 2023

WtAFW: Penetrated by the President's Twitter Feed by M.J. Edwards


I don't think I need to tell anyone what my politics are, because it should be pretty obvious by now-- so let's just say that PENETRATED BY THE PRESIDENT'S TWITTER FEED was the M.J. Edwards book I was looking forward to the least. Every week, I make a point of reading a weird romance or erotica "book" for a challenge I like to call What the Actual Fuck Wednesday. In this challenge, I've read books about people fucking everything from El Nino to the coronavirus to balloon animals. It's honestly kind of amazing how people have Rule 34'd the erotica genre.

PENETRATED BY THE PRESIDENT'S TWITTER FEED is about Bethanie Boiker, a very smart AI coder who is sleeping with her best friend's husband. She feels like she is entitled to very good sex, as such a smart AI coder with huge, "luxurious" boobs, so it really pisses her off that she has to settle for her best friend's husband, who is, in fact, not very sexy at all and has a dick "like raw Cumberland sausage tied up with wet string," and fondles her boobs so inexpertly that the nipples remain as soft as "recently boiled beans." You can't make this stuff up, folks.

Anyway, one day while "pushing his love wand inside of her cave of desires," Beth pulls a Paris Hilton and takes her phone out during sex. She starts scrolling through Twitter and comes across a certain ex-president's Twitter feed, and his racism and xenophobia are so hot to her that she comes IMMEDIATELY. From there, her feverish obsession mounts and she begins to read his vitriol obsessively in her quest to get off, until his feed becomes a physical manifestation that kind of looks like the president only sexy and blue and then they fuck and she thinks it's the BEST. And I was just sitting there in absolute horror, trying not to yark, because I thought it was the WORST.

Idk, I saw the humor in the coronavirus erotica and even, sort of, in the mantis erotica, but apparently my line is heroines who think that hate and treason is sexy. Granted, this was published before the January 6th insurrection and Trump's subsequent suspension from Twitter, but man oh man, does it NOT age well. I was going to make a joke while reading this about how Trump doesn't even have a Twitter account anymore, but a certain other asshole billionaire recently reinstated him so I can't even enjoy that. Boo.

1 out of 5 stars

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