Monday, March 21, 2022

WtAFW: Love, Laugh, Lich by Kate Prior

 

Welcome to What the Actual Fuck Wednesday, where I review some of the weirdest romance novels and erotica books out there, and YES, I do take requests. I've been so busy lately that I've actually skipped over a couple weeks, but now I'm back with a vengeance, and this week I'm reviewing LOVE, LAUGH, LICH courtesy of my friend, Brooke.

LOVE, LAUGH, LICH is about Lily, who works a corporate desk job for her lich boss. And when she's not working on spreadsheets or participating in ritualistic sacrifices, she's wondering what's under her boss's robes. Which, spoilers: three tentacle cocks. Or coral cocks. Personally, I think they sound more like polyps than Squidward, but whatever it is, he's got a colony of them and they love anal play.

I guess this is a neat twist on the usual "spreadsheet jockey horny for hot boss" genre of erotic fiction, and the whole undead dark lord vibe give it a Beetlejuice in Bureaucratic Hell vibe that I found pretty entertaining, especially with the inclusion of Janice from HR, some much-needed comedy relief who is proof that yes, underqualified people still are getting hired, thanks, and that there are lots of "bone" jokes you can make about skeletons or liches or whatever, because the undead isn't a protected class-- yet.

As a romance, this was a no. The three cocks with their sucker prongs grossed me out. Also, the heroine's vajazzler doubles as a supersoaker apparently, which scored an eye-roll and a cringe from me. He's also a little toxic. I'm pretty sure even if you're an undead zombie with a heart in a cave, you're still not supposed to fuck your underlings, or banish their would-be love rivals to bleak, eternal hell pits. He comes around at the end, of course, but I still wouldn't wear a red shirt in this office, if you get me.

In terms of unintentional hilarity, this gets a five. But in terms of would I bang the lich, this gets a negative nope-thousand. I'm pretty sure that averages out to a two, but don't check my math.

2 out of 5 star

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