Thursday, November 25, 2021

Covid Claus is Coming to Town by M.J. Edwards


M.J. Edwards is at it again with the crazy sauce sundaes. COVID CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN is the story of Holly Mistletoe, an expert zoologist and resident penguin hater who just wants to be fucked. And she gets her wish when Santa comes down her chimney, horrifically infected with what we can presume are all the active strains of the Coronavirus, which create a sexual cocktail that mutates him into a mean, green love machine. DUN, DUN, DUN.

I don't know why I keep coming back to these books. Maybe because every time the author publishes a new one, at least four people immediately recommend it to me as my next read. COVID CLAUS is seasonally appropriate, as the heroine's festive name, and the "hero's" ahem seasonally appropriate attire make it ideal for the holiday season.

The sex scenes are about what you would expect in an M.J. Edwards original. Gloppy, messy, and cringe-worthy, with too little plot and too much descriptions that sound something like "he crammed his dick into her open vagina hole like a train speeding into a tunnel." Also, when he comes, he cleans himself off with his Santa hat. Classy.

IDK, guys. This was pretty horrible, but it's the kind of horrible I like. After THE PERFECT POO, I came to this with pretty low expectations, but this is the M.J. Edwards brand of crazysauce that keeps me coming (eek) back for more.

1 out of 5 stars

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