Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates

 

MEN WHO HATE WOMEN is a very good book, but as other reviewers have pointed out, the incendiary title is a little misleading. The focus of this book isn't really about women-hating men so much as it is about alt-right groups that aim to target men who feel uncertain or terrified by shifting paradigms of masculinity and gender rights, and essentially scapegoat and dehumanize women-- often in the abstract-- to gain what they see as a toehold in the fraying fabric of society. But that title isn't as catchy. :P

Laura Bates, through exhausting research and even some undercover stints, discusses some of the primary groups that are responsible for these regressive stances on sexuality and gender roles, including pick me girls and impressionable teenage boys. She also discusses some work that feminist men are doing to further quality, and how some men who were once caught in the crosshairs of these movements ended up having changes of heart (and she shares their stories, too).

This is one of the most disturbing and upsetting books I've read in a while and I would urge people to be cautious reading if they are sensitive to violent language aimed towards women. I can't imagine what sort of headspace the research for this book might have put the author in at times, and I hope she indulged in some major self-care after finishing. I think this book is informative but probably not transformative. Looking at the reviews for this book, it seems like MEN WHO HATE WOMEN will appeal most to people who already believe in feminism and just want better talking points for understanding and repudiating the other side.

I would have given this a higher rating but it ended up being a bit of a slog. Parts of the book felt very repetitive. The "Men Who Fear Women" chapter, for example, was very similar to the MGTOW chapter, and there were a lot of arguments that felt very circular, even though I agreed with them. However, I still appreciated this book a lot, and I'm grateful for the work that Bates is doing to both highlight the inequalities and abuses many women face as part of their day-to-day lives while also trying to be inclusive towards men and boys, showing how sexism hurts men as much as it does women, often in sadly ironic and unexpected (for the men) ways.

Definitely read this if you feel up to it.

3 to 3.5 out of 5 stars