Streams and Schemes by Rebecca Kinkade

 

Five stars is not enough. Rom-coms are hard for me to get into, because so many of them kind of feel sweet and empty: the romance equivalent of those dry Safeway sugar cookies with the cheap frosting and dollar store sprinkles. Like, I'm not denying that they are comfort eating for some people or that they taste sweet, but I personally don't like them and they make me feel empty and kind of sick. NOT THIS BOOK, THOUGH. Seriously, STREAMS AND SCHEMES was everything that I do like in a romance novel. The romance equivalent of eating a molecular gastronomy cookie made with cloudberry mousse and yak butter, or something like that. AMAZING.

The heroine of this book, Valeria, is my absolute favorite. She's a camgirl and she loves her profession, and she is totally sex positive without being cringe. I also loved that she was Mexican and how the author portrayed both the positive and negative sides of what it can mean to grow up in that culture. Also, she SIGNS MEN UP for romance authors' newsletters when they piss her off. Genius.

The hero, Lander, is my new book boyfriend. An intimidating lawyer built like a tree who's a consent king in the streets and a "take it you little slut" in the sheets? We stan. He did the absolute sweetest gestures for the heroine and every time I didn't think I could swoon anymore, I did. He might be one of my favorite rom-com heroes of all time after Callum from MORBIDLY YOURS. I loved him.

These two are neighbors and are aware of each other-- possibly more so than either would suspect. When they get a text message saying that a ballistic missile is coming to DC in less than twenty minutes, Valeria goes to his door and they end up tearing each others' clothes off. And then they find out that the missile was a false alarm, so that last-fuck-on-earth is just hanging between them like a glittery dildo on a string, daring them to make eye contact with their unwanted sexual attraction. This book is so funny and has a lot of heart, and I will absolutely be diving into this author's backlist.

5 out of 5 stars