Elixir by Hilary Duff

 

Was Sage a serial killer? Some kind of timeless, ageless serial killer who didn't choose multiple victims, but instead just one . . . and killed her-- killed me-- over and over again? (178)

Raise your hand if you're just sick enough to find that hot. 

I said that if I got to 3,000 followers on Threads, I'd read a trashy book from a celebrity and then I got to 3,000 followers and put up a poll and ELIXIR by Hilary Duff and MODELLAND by Tyra Banks basically tied. ELIXIR was shorter and just barely squeaked ahead, so I decided to read that one first. 

This is basically TWILIGHT with reincarnation and the fountain of youth. Clea is clubbing in Paris when there's a fire and as she's looking through her photos, she realizes that the same guy is in the frame of every picture (including the ones she shot in her bedroom). That person is Sage, the man who haunts her dreams, when she imagines herself in the bodies of other women lost to time.

If you're familiar with TWILIGHT, I won't summarize the plot for you. Two dudes-- toxic best friend, Ben, hot and unattainable guy, Sage. Love triangle. "I love you but I might get you killed." Absentee and doofy parents. I think the only physical interaction Clea actually has with her mom is at some rich diplomatic house party. Her dad is a weird biohacky scientist and her mom is-- idk. A political figure? She's filthy stinking rich and her best friend Rayna is the daughter of the "horse nanny" and they got jet-setting from Paris to Rio to Shibuya, like it's no big thing.

ELIXIR does actually have a leg-up on TWILIGHT in some regards. Like, Sage actually seems legit dangerous. When Clea goes to his house, there's, like, paintings of her past selves. Not just chill little portraits, but also gruesome pictures of them as they were being killed. And then since irises are kind of all their things, each of them had an iris charm necklace hanging on a hook, plus one empty one. Like he was just waiting for hers. Oh shiiiiit. I got the chills dot com. I also liked how Clea actually had hobbies (photography, dancing) and agency. She's not afraid to tell people off, and I liked that.

Overall, this wasn't the torture fest I was expecting. In the acknowledgements, Duff credits her collaborator, Elise Allen, who I am guessing was the ghost writer. Oh, to be a fly on the wall during their pitch sessions, as I'm very curious how much of this story actually came from Duff. All the richy-rich stuff, and the "travel is NBD," and "people don't take me seriously because I'm privileged and rich" stuff was probably Duff, I'm guessing, but honestly, it didn't come across as obnoxious. Maybe oblivious, but not malicious, which isn't surprising since in literally every interview I've seen with her, she comes across as a genuinely nice person. I think what was most shocking to me about this book was, according to the acknowledgements, she had not one, but TWO literary agents.

TWO.

So honestly, if you like TWILIGHT and L.J. Smith and cheesy aughts-era paranormals, this actually wasn't that bad. I was prepared to hate it and ended up enjoying myself instead. Woo-hoo.

2.5 out of 5 stars