Shadow and Ice by Gena Showalter

 

DNF

You know it's funny, as I was reading about all the beefy paranormal dudes shit-talking each other like a bunch of frat guys in the middle of their little battle royal, I thought to myself, "This feels like a J.R. Ward novel." GUESS WHOSE BLURB WAS ON THE BACK OF MY BOOK, MY DUDES? And I didn't even see it until after I'd given up. Man, I haven't felt this validated since I said, "This book would appeal to fans of Christine Feehan," only to see that she had blurbed that book on the inside cover. I love being good at this job I don't get paid for. :)

Speaking of not getting paid, I debated on whether I wanted to post a review for this book at all since I didn't get very far and I don't actually like writing negative reviews. Especially not ones. I know they suck, okay? They suck to get and they suck to write. I didn't want to do this. I got lured in with the promise of what I thought would be good cheese. The heroine and her sister are trapped in the Arctic after a wilderness expedition gone wrong? Immortal gods Hunger Gamesing each other for territory disputes in the middle of a super sekrit ice cave? I must be reading too many Love Spell romances because this premise lured me right the fuck in.

I'm going to tell you two things you need to know about this book that will help you decide whether or not you want to read it. (1) The immortal gods read like they were written by someone whose favorite movie is Magic Mike and would probably use the word "shitkickers" unironically because they heard it once on Sons of Anarchy (their favorite TV show). And (2) the heroine is an adult woman who considers "frick" a swear word. Not fuck. Frick.

There you go. I've equipped you with all you need. Sally forth or don't.

1 out of 5 stars